Ride or die Read online

  “But I never . . .”

  “Just hush, Kanika. Don’t talk about it anymore. You’re new and he knows you didn’t turn enough tricks to make that much tonight. You have to figure out what Dragon thinks you will make in a night. Say you’re having a good night for money and you get a crazy tip like that again. Just keep the tip and keep your mouth shut. But you’d just better make sure no one ever finds out about it.”

  That night, holding an ice pack to her bruised face, Kanika thought about what Panama had said. She was still learning all of Dragon’s rules. But Panama had given her an idea. She needed to find a way to get back with the older man again. She felt that the man sensed her desperation and would tip her again. If he kept giving her those kinds of tips, she could save up enough to finally get away.

  Kanika talked about escaping often. Each time she did, Panama would change the subject. As much as she hated the life they were living, Panama was too scared to run. She never wanted to think about what would happen if she left with Kanika and got caught.

  The swelling under Kanika’s eye and cheek was just about healed when she met with the older man again. He looked concerned when he saw her face.

  “Everything okay?” he asked. “Your guy scraped you pretty bad, huh?”

  “Yeah.” Kanika decided to play on his sympathy. “Didn’t bring in enough money.”

  The man shook his head. He seemed disgusted by what Kanika was saying. Kanika glanced at his open wallet on the hotel nightstand. “Craig Pettrie,” his driver’s license read. Another quick glance and Kanika spotted red and brown bills bulging inside the wallet. By this time, Kanika knew they were fifty and one-hundred dollar bills. There must be at least a thousand dollars in there, she thought.

  The first time Kanika was with Craig, he had spent all of the time talking. There had been no time left for anything else. Kanika hoped this time he would do the same.

  “What do your parents think about your lifestyle?” he continued.

  “I don’t have any parents.”

  “Gosh, that’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it?”

  Kanika wasn’t about to share her life’s story with the stranger.

  “Sorry to pry,” he apologized as he pulled his pants down. Kanika was disappointed. She wanted him to run out the clock talking, but he was ready to get down to business. He noticed Kanika’s hesitation.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll give you a good tip.”

  With that assurance, Kanika dropped to her knees. At the end of her night, she slipped away to her room to hide the second hundred-dollar tip Craig had given her.

  Kanika did the same thing every time she met with Craig. She managed to pull a space apart at the bottom of her wooden bedroom lamp. Every time, she slipped the extra money inside. She didn’t tell anyone about the tips, not even Panama. Some things had not changed, and Panama was still the girl who was a rat under pressure. If Panama knew about Kanika’s money and where it was hidden, she would spill all the beans to Dawn or Dragon. And Kanika couldn’t risk that, even for her best friend.

  Chapter 15

  Ru

  The weather was chillier than usual when Ru asked Kanika to go out with her one night. It was a robbery plot that Dragon had set up. The target was a high-profile lawyer. He was defending a businessman suspected of sexually assaulting three of his employees. Even Kanika knew that because it was all over the news.

  The lawyer requested two young Black girls. Kanika was hesitant to go along. She didn’t want to be involved in any robbery. Dawn told Ru and Dragon they were making a mistake by taking “an amateur like Kanika” along. They stood to make a lot of money, and she was sure Kanika would mess it up. But since Ru and Kanika were the only two Black girls in the house, Dragon didn’t have much choice.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she knows what to do,” Ru assured Dawn and Dragon.

  In the taxi, Ru talked in code so the driver wouldn’t catch on. He glanced at them often in his rearview mirror. The way he looked at them creeped Kanika out.

  Ru explained that since she had the most experience, she would occupy the lawyer first. She would make sure he was happy. Then Kanika could continue to entertain him while Ru stole his money. Kanika wasn’t ready to do the actual robbing. They had worked out a signal for when Ru had the money and it was time to leave. It would be Ru asking the lawyer for a cigarette.

  As they got out of the car in front of the hotel, Ru handed the driver a twenty-dollar bill.

  “You lesbians have a good night, now!” he said. He winked at Ru.

  “We will, you damn pervert!” Ru yelled back. She slammed the car door shut.

  Kanika was shocked to think the driver thought she was a lesbian. But maybe it was better than everyone knowing the truth, that she was a sex worker. She thought back to her mother. Was her mother ashamed by how she lived?

  The girls made their way up to the hotel room. Ru tapped on the door next to the one that the lawyer was waiting in.

  “This isn’t the right room,” Kanika whispered.

  Ru ignored Kanika. She took a key card from her pocket and slipped it through the slot. The light turned green and she walked in. Kanika followed. Dragon was already sitting inside. He would be their protection if the lawyer caught on and tried to hurt them. The three couldn’t be seen arriving together in case the lawyer spotted them and became suspicious.

  “You ready for this?” Dragon asked Kanika.

  “I think so.”

  “Don’t think so. Know so!” he snarled

  “I’m ready,” Kanika gulped.

  “Good. Don’t screw this up.”

  Kanika was scared to death. She hoped the lawyer couldn’t smell her fear. But everything seemed to go as planned. After what seemed like too long, Ru asked the lawyer for a cigarette. It was done. When the lawyer told Ru that he didn’t bring his smokes, the girls left the hotel room.

  The girls made their way down the back stairs. They waited there in case the lawyer found he’d been robbed before they could leave the building. Dragon pulled up around back, tires squealing. The girls hopped inside his car. Kanika’s heartbeat finally returned to a normal rate. She wondered how the girls at the house had been able to survive such danger for as long as they had.

  Later, Kanika found out that Ru was able to get four-thousand dollars, a chequebook and a gold credit card from the lawyer’s wallet. “Pay dirt,” Ru called it. Kanika watched as Ru handed everything over to Dragon. He counted out the bills and handed Ru a bunch of the brown ones, a handful of hundreds. Kanika had never seen Dragon give any of the other girls money. If they needed something, he bought it. He didn’t give away cash. Kanika needed to find out why. How was Ru different from the other girls?

  A few days later, Kanika got her chance. She and Panama were at the kitchen table playing cards when Ru passed by.

  “Can one of you hand me that laundry soap from up there?” Ru asked. “I don’t know why these hos never put shit back after they use it.” She was holding a basket of dirty laundry.

  “I’ll get it.” Kanika hopped up from the table to retrieve the bottle.

  Ru struggled to find a free finger to grasp the handle.

  “I’ll just bring it for you,” Kanika offered.

  She followed Ru to the basement. She set the detergent on the floor and watched as Ru piled her clothes into the washer. Ru turned and noticed that Kanika hadn’t left.

  “You still here, kid?”

  “I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Well, ask.”

  “How come Dragon gave you all that money?”

  Ru grabbed the soap from the floor to add to her wash.

  “Because it was mine, stupid.”

  Kanika was puzzled. “How? Why wasn’t the money all Dragon’s? Why did he keep only some of it?”

  “Because I pay him to pr
otect me.”

  “Huh?”

  “Gosh, you have a lot to learn. He’s my pimp. I sought him out and he agreed to protect me. After I got caught up out on the streets, I knew I needed someone to watch out for me.”

  “But —”

  “I’m not like you. I wasn’t forced here. I came on my own.”

  “Why? Who would want this?”

  “There are a lot of sex workers who chose to do this. It’s their work. Just like teaching is work and picking up garbage is work.”

  “Don’t you feel dirty doing this work?”

  “No.”

  Kanika was surprised to hear the way Ru was talking. Kanika wanted to get out so badly. She never thought she would ever meet someone who wanted to be here.

  “You’re just like the rest of the chumps out there,” Ru said. “Looking down on people like me as if your life was perfect. As if you were perfect before all this.”

  “I didn’t say I was perfect.”

  “You don’t have to. People like you piss me the hell off.”

  Kanika didn’t want to make Ru mad. She tried to make it right. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “For what?”

  “For judging you. I didn’t mean to. It’s just that I don’t understand this life.” Kanika thought about her mother. Maybe she chose this, like Ru did.

  “I don’t get it,” Kanika continued. “And I don’t want any part of it. I just can’t see how anybody would. I’m just trying to understand it, that’s all. Aren’t you a victim, too?”

  “Girlfriend, I’m nobody’s victim. Let me tell you something. What happened to you isn’t right. I’m not down for that. Nobody should be forced to do anything they don’t sign on to do. But it’s different with me. This is how I make my money. I’m twenty years old. I’ve been a sex worker since I was eighteen. It was how I put myself through college. I got my certificate in cosmetology.”

  “So why are you doing this?”

  “Because it’s the work I chose. If I want to leave, I can give Dragon an exit fee and move on. But I make more in one day doing this work than I would in a month of putting makeup on people, day after day and telling them they look pretty. Here’s what’s so messed up about it. If someone makes porn, they’re making money by using other people’s bodies to have sex with each other. It’s legal. But when a sex worker like me uses her own body, all of a sudden it’s wrong.”

  “I still don’t get it, Ru. This is a bad business.”

  “Look, what I do with my own body should be my choice. You may never understand it, Kanika, but don’t judge me. Like I said, what happened to you was wrong. But I chose to get into this. And I can get out when I choose.”

  Kanika slowly walked back up the stairs. She understood the lure of money. But the things she’d seen and felt while being trafficked were horrific. She still couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to be in this life. But she respected Ru’s strength to make her own choices.

  Panama was still sitting at the table when Kanika came back up. “What took you so long?” she asked.

  “I have a headache, Panama,” Kanika said instead of answering. “I’m going to lie down.”

  Kanika went to her room to be alone. She was left not knowing how to think. She stretched out across the bed. She wished that when she woke, she would be back home in her own bed.

  Chapter 16

  Come With Me

  “Here, drink this.”

  Ru passed Kanika a hot cup of lemon-flavored cold medicine. Kanika had caught a bad flu. She had barely been out of bed in over a week. Dragon wasn’t pleased about losing money, so he kept checking in on Kanika to make sure she wasn’t faking. Kanika squished up her face when she saw the steaming cup.

  Ru sat on the edge of the bed. “Take it,” she insisted.

  Kanika slowly sat up in bed. She felt dizzy. She shifted her body against the pillows and held her hands out for the cup.

  “Careful, it’s hot.”

  “Thanks.” Kanika took a sip and closed her eyes. She hated the taste.

  “What a wimp.” Ru chuckled as she watched Kanika force a swallow. She took the cup from Kanika and set it on the nightstand. “Let it cool a bit. But make sure you drink it all. You need to get better.”

  “Why? I never want to go out and turn tricks ever again. I’d keep the flu forever if I could. I’m not cut out for this. I didn’t ask for this, Ru. I just want to go home.”

  Ru sighed and got up to leave.

  “But it’s true,” Kanika whined.

  “I know.” Ru left and closed the door quietly behind her.

  Kanika slid back down in bed, hoping that she hadn’t made Ru too mad.

  Kanika hadn’t dozed off for an hour before noises in the hallway woke her. She sat up to listen as the sound of arguing grew louder. It seemed that one of the girls ratted to Dragon that someone was hiding money. Dragon ran through the house like he was on the warpath. He hollered and threatened everyone. Kanika was nervous. Did someone find the stash she had hidden in the base of the lamp? If Dragon burst in and went through her room, he might find her money. She didn’t even want to think about what he would do if that happened. Her head throbbed.

  “Just calm down, Dragon.” Dawn was pleading with him.

  “You all better pray I don’t find one hidden penny!”

  Kanika could hear Dragon burst into Brittany’s room across the hall. After a minute, he came out screaming for someone to find Brittany. Dragon had found a hundred dollars taped to the back of a photo he ripped from her wall. He stormed down the stairs, banging his fist against the walls as he went.

  Kanika lay back down and pulled the blanket tightly over her head. She wanted to be somewhere else. She didn’t want to even hear what was about to befall Brittany. Kanika started to cry. It was only a matter of time before she would be found out, too.

  The day stretched into the evening. Kanika cried herself to sleep. She was shaken awake by Panama. Panama looked awful. Her eyes were swollen as if she had been crying.

  “What’s wrong?” Kanika asked, still too drowsy from the medicine to pay attention.

  “I figured you probably didn’t know. Oh, Kanika it was awful. All we could do was watch. Poor Brittany.”

  Kanika wasn’t sure she wanted to hear any more.

  “Kanika,” Panama went on. “Brittany’s in the hospital right now. Dragon beat her so bad. One of the girls even laughed while Brittany screamed. Dragon threw Brittany down the stairs and left.”

  “Well, the police should arrest him!”

  “Brittany will never say it was Dragon.”

  “Why not?”

  “Think about it, Kanika. It would only make it worse.”

  Panama’s words sent shivers through Kanika’s sick body. Panama was right. And Kanika had money hidden like Brittany. She had been with Craig a few times, and what she had in her lamp was almost five-hundred dollars. The knowledge that she could end up like Brittany petrified Kanika. She suddenly felt as though she couldn’t breathe. It felt as if someone was pressing on her chest and blocking her air.

  “I have to go get ready for tonight,” Panama said. She didn’t seem to notice Kanika’s panic. “I just wanted to let you know what was going on.”

  As soon as she left, Kanika got out of bed and rummaged through her drawers. She still didn’t feel well, and the flu had really been taking its toll. But she knew she had to find a way out. Her hands were shaking as she grabbed clothes and stuffed them into a drawstring Adidas bag.

  Kanika jumped when she heard a tap at the door. Without waiting for a response, Ru stepped inside. She caught Kanika trying to hide the bag under the blankets on her bed.

  “Finally leaving, huh?” Ru said.

  Kanika couldn’t answer.

  “I came up to see if you were going to make your move,” Ru exp
lained.

  “How did you . . .”

  “Panama told me you guys talked about Brittany. I figured that would have freaked you out.”

  “You won’t tell the other girls on me will you?”

  “You think these hos care if you take off? You’ll just be one less girl they need to be jealous of.”

  “You’re going to help me get out?”

  “This life is rough, and you’re a victim. With all your questioning, you’re just going to make it harder for the rest of us. It’s in my best interest to help you get away.”

  Kanika thought of Panama. Their chance had finally come to get back to Guysborough. They could return to the families back home worrying about them.

  “Wait here for a minute,” Kanika said. Ru started sifting through Kanika’s bag to see what items she was trying to take with her.

  Kanika stepped into Panama’s room. She was excited that she finally had good news for her friend. Panama was sitting in a chair in the corner putting on mascara. She looked like an Asian beauty queen. Her deep, dark eyes looked even more mysterious when she dressed them with makeup.

  “Kanika, you’re feeling better?” Panama caught her eye in the mirror.

  “Not really. I took a bunch of Tylenol though. I just came to take you with me.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Ru is going to help us get home.”

  “That’s not true. She would never do that.”

  “Are you coming?”

  Panama continued to put on her makeup, not looking at Kanika. “You’re crazy, Kanika. I think you want to die.”

  “Panama, this is our chance to go back home. Please, come with me.”

  Panama put down her mascara and looked up at Kanika. “Back home to what? Face it, Kanika. We’re not the same people we were back in Guysborough. And how long do you think it would be before Dragon’s goons found us there?”

  Kanika’s smile dropped.

  Panama went on, “You think Dragon will say, ‘Glad you made it home safe’?”